Mamaste

Therapists like to talk about the importance of self care and making time for yourself. Comical, I know. Where is this magical time going to come from? You may think “I can’t get 5 minutes alone to go to the bathroom, much less, time to renew and recharge my spirit. When we talk about self care and relaxation, we don’t mean a weekend at a spa retreat (although that would be really awesome). Ideas of holistic wellness may sound like a far-off dream, but we are actually referring to smaller, more realistic activities. We are talking about intentionally carving out time to do something that is relaxing or fun just for you. This can even be 10 minutes if that is truly the only possibility. Self care is not all-or-nothing. It’s not going to be perfect, so make it the best you can.

Movement Notice I said movement. I often avoid using exercise because this word seems to conjure up images of marathons and intense, two-hour sessions at the gym. I am talking about something that simply involves the movement of your body. A walk around the block, a yoga video, dancing, or whatever you are into is great . Something you are willing to start with that doesn’t sound too overwhelming. If you like it and can incorporate more of it, awesome. You will be more willing to start small and work your way up, than to dive right into an intense workout routine. The idea is to move your body for your overall physical and mental health, not to become some super-fit, workout machine. Exercise and movement can be very beneficial to improving your mood and reducing anxiety, so make it something feasible that you are more likely to do and stick with.

Meditation, Mindfulness and Calming Activities You Think You Can Never Do Have you ever tried meditation? It is hard. At first, it goes something like this: “I am going to clear my mind. I am going to try really hard not to think. I have so much to do after this. What was that noise? Okay, back to focusing on my breath. My legs are uncomfortable. Why did Judy make that rude comment to me at work yesterday? I’m so glad it’s finally the weekend. Crap, I’m thinking! What am I supposed to do? Oh yeah, not judge my thoughts. Imagine them floating away. Floating. Like that time I floated down the river with my brother on summer vacation. That was fun. How many years ago was that trip? Maybe we should plan something this summer. Oh no, I’m thinking again! I can’t do this. I’m not the type of person that can sit still and turn my thoughts off.”

Meditation takes a lot of practice. Despite stereotypes, you don’t have to be a super laid-back, hippie type or Buddhist monk to get the hang of it. Plenty of CEOs, military leaders, and athletes have espoused the benefits of meditation. Here is a helpful article that explains the basics of meditation.  You can also search for guided meditation on YouTube or even use an app like Headspace. 

If traditional meditation really isn’t your thing, there are still plenty of other ways to slow your mind down and be more present. The key is finding what speaks to you. There are an endless array of free YouTube videos. Do you feel relaxed at the beach or sitting by a mountain stream? Try sitting a few minutes with the sound of ocean waves or a river, close your eyes and imagine yourself there. If you need some help with imagining all of the sensations, look up guided imagery pertaining to whatever scene you prefer. Progressive muscle relaxation is a great way to release tension by focusing on different parts of your body. You might find it helpful to just sit in silence (clearly a bit difficult with small kids around) or put on headphones and listen to spa/relaxation music. Experiment to figure out what is most helpful for you.

Breathing Obviously, we all know how to breath. It our most basic and necessary task, yet there are some ways of breathing that can actually make us feel more anxious while deeper breathing can help us feel more calm and centered. Shallow breathing is when you breath in using your chest muscles. When you are anxious your shallow breathing tends to become more rapid and it can feel like you are not getting enough air, which in turn, signals to your brain that something is wrong, which makes you even more anxious. 

Diaphragmatic breathing is a deeper breath that uses your diaphragm. Where the heck is your diaphragm anyway? Basically, it is a muscle below your lungs. When you use the diaphragm to breath, you help manage stress and anxiety because it lowers your heart rate, reduces oxygen demand, and can lower your overall stress level. 

To practice, put your hand on your stomach. Close your eyes and breath in through your nose. As you breath in visualize the air going all the way down to your abdomen(this isn’t what is actually happening, but it helps in getting your muscles to move the right way) and your abdomen filling up like a balloon. Your abdomen will expand as you inhale and contract when you exhale. If you are not used to doing this, it feels weird and unnatural at first. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. I definitely suggest practicing at a time when you are not feeling anxious because when your are anxious you won’t remember what you are supposed to be doing. It is a good way to retrain yourself to breath all of the time, but it is also helpful to slow down and just focus on your breathing when you also want to slow your mind. Here is a good example of the basics of diaphragmatic breathing.

Go Outside You don’t have to be an “outdoorsy” type to enjoy the benefits of fresh air. Spending time outside can be a great way to boost your mood. It can be whatever setting that is desirable, feasible, and accessible to you. It doesn’t have to be a dreamy outdoor destination, it can be your backyard, an urban park, or anywhere outside you feel safe. Outdoors is a great place to practice some mindfulness. Notice what it feels like. How does a breeze or warm sunshine on your face feel. If it’s nice you can even take your shoes off. Feel the grass, the sand, or the dirt. Pay attention to what you hear and smell. What do you see that can really spend some time to fully observe for just a minute?  If you feel like adding in a walk or some movement, even better, but not necessary. You can also just sit there and do absolutely nothing. And if your outside time involves chasing around some kids, it can still be much more therapeutic and energizing for everyone than another day stuck in the house.

Also remember, it is important to spend time doing things that you enjoy. Even if you have long forgotten what it is you actually like to do, try to spend a little time figuring it out. Time for yourself is not a luxury and it is not selfish. It is a necessary element to being a healthy human.